scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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