And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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