you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Randomize
