theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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