I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
