Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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