you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
