i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
No subtext here. People are naked.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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