Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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