At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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