Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
