At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
my poor anus
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize