Its about making memories worth repressing
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
