Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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