Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
