I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
