Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
