Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I understand Curling. That high.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Alive.
So much puke
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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