You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
