no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
In America we eat man semen.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
