you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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