I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
