I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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