Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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