I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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