Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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