im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
