I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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