I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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