i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
