I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Randomize
