Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
what day is it and did you see me today?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
