you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize