I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize