Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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