Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I would ride that face into the sunset
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
