One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
