I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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