I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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