I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
