If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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