I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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