dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
