My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Even my vagina gasped.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize