I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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