My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
