in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
A bitchslap is in order.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
