I wish I could teleport
false alarm. still invincible.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
