i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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