Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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