Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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