Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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