had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
