Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
