but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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