eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
