I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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