i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
